A 2011 research study found that high conflict avoidance in a relationship will likely cause relationship dissatisfaction for women, but not necessarily for men. To state the obvious, we aren’t happier when we come out of conflict worse off, feeling like we haven’t been heard or have been misunderstood. While it’s OK to never be completely comfortable with confrontation, being able to resolve issues effectively means accepting it as a healthy part of communicating with others. In a relationship, this can look like going silent on a partner, changing the subject, or enduring uncomfortable situations instead of expressing issues openly. Lastly, when you avoid conflict at all costs, it can also make it harder to create and maintain boundaries. When someone violates your boundaries, it might be necessary to reinforce those boundaries by confronting the person.

The study found that people were more conflict avoidant during the pandemic, which led to lower levels of satisfaction in the relationship. While it can be tempting to bottle up feelings like anger and frustration by not rocking the boat, conflict-avoiding tendencies can take a toll on your mental health. As the lines between real and fake blur, Americans increasingly chase the idea of authenticity.

Why You Need to Stop Avoiding Conflict (and What to Do Instead)

Second, a partner who is egocentric may wish to dodge a person’s disapproval; he or she hides selfish acts and avoids conversations focused on issues in the relationship. A skillful manager with good conflict resolution skills can successfully resolve tense workplace situations in a way that leaves all team members feeling heard, respected, and motivated to continue doing their best. Each style may be appropriate or inappropriate to the goals of the argumentative situation.

The first step may be to consider self-knowledge, truthfulness, and other building blocks on the road to personal growth. The ripe moment for resolving this conflict is nearest the time a triggering event occurs, but not directly in the middle of it. Pull your colleague aside for informal catch-up when they are available by themselves, and keep it confidential. Discussing the situation with other parties can brew misunderstandings and break down trust which is often irreparable. There’s that one colleague who annoys you every time you go into the office or collaborate on a project virtually. Through applying these strategies you can effectively navigate and resolve conflict with your …

tips for overcoming conflict avoidance

If there are equal steps taken while working toward the goal, each step reduces a higher proportion of the remaining discrepancy. If the goal is to solve each of 10 anagrams, for example, solving the first reduces 10% of the remaining how to deal with someone who avoids conflict discrepancy, whereas solving the last reduces 100% of the remaining discrepancy. Thus, the value of a success increases as one is closer to the goal. The greater the value is of succeeding, the stronger the motivation is to succeed.

how to approach a person who prefers avoiding conflicts

In such scenarios, mediators can be neutral yet balance the power so that the less dominant party will have the courage to confront his or her concerns. Psychological safety may be particularly important for flighters, because it helps avoid triggering the fight-or-flight instinct that so often pushes these people to clam up, shut down, hide out or acquiesce. Safety opens the door to reasonable, collaborative and evolved responses.

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